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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What's 4+7 47

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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knock knock come in

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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47

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whats your name? bumder:)

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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