Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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