why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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