How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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hi patrick

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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