I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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