What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Wade's the father

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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this is gay

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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