What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +17

JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

alert("The Game");//

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops