An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Your mom.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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