A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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Johnson stops eating

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Your time.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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