How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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24!

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Society.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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