How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

ugh good riddance

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...