The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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Women's Rights.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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