What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Girls

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops