How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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69

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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