Obamacare haters

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Spinabifita

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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