If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

What the difference between a alien and you nothing

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

You should never talk to strangers.

Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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