How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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LIE

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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