Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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Women's Rights.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops