What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -15

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

this girl died

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops