What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops