Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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sarah taylor

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general tso's broccoli

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops