A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

womens rights

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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