Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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You have cancer

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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