Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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A black man didn't walk into a bar

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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this is a joke

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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Seth stock has a large penis

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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