whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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