How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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hey

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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