What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whoa there

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops