A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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69

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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Knock knock

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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involved parents.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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