you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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involved parents.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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