Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops