What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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where are you?

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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