Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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I lost my tractor.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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The Bible

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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