Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Chrissy is funny.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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