Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

How many dislikes can this get?

Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

knock knock whose there? my penis.

Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...