why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

thumb_up thumb_down -15

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops