Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Poop

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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this girl died

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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