why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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this is gay

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this girl died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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