Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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conrad profit

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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