Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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ginger

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops