Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Once upon a time.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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what is big and white? the moon

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops