Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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24

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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69

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What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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