I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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anti jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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fabien

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops