What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Obama

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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