Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

Derpy Hooves is retarded.

Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

women have rights

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...