Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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I like to eat people

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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