Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona 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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate a dude's face.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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my mom raped yerr foot

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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