Murder me once, shame on you.

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What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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knock, knock. come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops