Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Women's rights...

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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The Bible

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops