Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. who's george porchy?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops