What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's after 9/11? 9/12

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down +25

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops