You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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Women's rights

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Kah-________-

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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