a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Johnson stops eating

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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