I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Thumbs this down

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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