What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Mitt Romney.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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