So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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It's long!

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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I'm a like whore

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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mark is mark

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My pet rock died.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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