What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops